JD's Journal
Having roamed this planet for six decades, and after 47 years of full-time employment in a smorgasbord of roles and locations, I'm sharing the gems I've gathered plus the wisdom of other remarkable leaders and innovators who I've encountered along the way. I don't have a clear destination yet, but based on my historical experience, it's certain to be a dynamic and unpredictable adventure. Welcome aboard!
JD's Journal
Unmasking & Conquering Imposter Syndrome
When the echo of self-doubt whispers insidiously, suggesting we're not deserving of our successes, it's imposter syndrome creeping in—and it's an affliction I've grappled with myself, alongside figures like Sheryl Sandberg and David Bowie. JD's Journal peels back the layers of this psychological phenomenon, offering solace in the shared experience of countless professionals who outwardly seem unshakeable. Through candid discussions, we dissect the contrast between the confidence projected by high achievers and their private insecurities, underscoring the message that the feeling of being an imposter is far more common than we might think.
Moving beyond mere sympathy, this episode arms you with practical strategies to reclaim your confidence. We're not just revealing the inner workings of imposter syndrome; we're equipping you with the tools to combat it. Drawing upon the insights of Carol Dweck and the motivational wisdom of Amy Porterfield, we discuss how to reframe this self-doubt as a force for growth and success. Whether it's affirming your personal achievements or tapping into a network for support, JD's Journal is your companion in transforming those inner critics into catalysts for empowerment. Join us and start turning imposter syndrome from a formidable foe into an unexpected ally in your professional toolkit.
Hi folk, and welcome to the JDs Journal podcast where every couple of weeks, my guests and I share some of our life's journey our successes, our failures, the valuable lessons that we've learned on the way and the resources that we've gathered that have allowed us to survive, prosper and thrive. The opinions and perspectives shared on JD's Journal should be taken and applied with your own good judgment. Episodes of the podcast are largely unscripted and unedited. I'll do my best to keep things on topic, but you can expect some occasional glitches and a little meandering along the way. I hope, if nothing else, you find that entertaining. Now let's get this episode started. The person I project as me is not the me I actually see, and sooner or later the real me will be exposed. Welcome to Episode 6 of JD's Journal Podcast, everybody, and thanks for sticking with me and for your wonderful feedback so far. It's been tremendous. I appreciate the support.
Speaker 1:So today I'm going to be talking about a topic that has thoroughly surprised me over the years. For a long time I'd convinced myself that imposter syndrome was something that I was dealing with on my own, and I really couldn't imagine thatoster syndrome was something that I was dealing with on my own, and I really couldn't imagine that the people around me that I was working with every day could be feeling the same emotions, but more recently I've learned that it's actually quite common. In fact, it affects most successful people in all walks of life. In fact, I think maybe it affects all professional people in all walks of life. In fact, I think maybe it affects all professional people in all walks of life at some time or another. But I want to start by setting your minds at ease a little and I want to share some notable examples of those who've spoken quite openly about their feelings of being an imposter in their careers. I think you'll be surprised. So Sheryl Sandberg she's a prominent US business executive from Google, facebook, etc. And her quote was every time I took a test, I was sure that I'd gone badly, and every time I didn't embarrass myself or even excelled, I believed that I had fooled everyone yet again. One day soon, the jig would be up.
Speaker 1:David Bowie, incredible performer and somebody that I can't imagine would doubt themselves. He said I had enormous self-image problems and very, very low self-esteem, which I hid behind obsessive writing and performing. I was driven to get through life very quickly. I really felt so utterly inadequate. I thought the work was the only thing of value. So one of my favorite comedians, tina Fey incredible actor, producer, director and such a creative she shared that she had a complete feeling of I'm a fraud. Oh God, they're onto me, I'm a fraud.
Speaker 1:Howard Schultz, the former CEO of Starbucks. He said very few people, whether you've been in that job before or not, get into the seat believing today that they are now qualified to be CEO. They're not going to tell you that, but it's true. Arianna Huffington, forbes and Time magazine most influential person. She said the greatest obstacle for me has been the voice in my head that I call my obnoxious roommate. I wish someone would invent a tape recorder that we could attach to our brains to record everything we tell ourselves. We'd soon realize how important it is to stop this negative self-talk. It means pushing back against our obnoxious roommate with a dose of wisdom.
Speaker 1:Tom Hanks, another incredible actor, producer, who's been so successful throughout his career. He said no matter what we've done, there comes a point when you think how did I get here? When are they going to discover that I am in fact a fraud and take everything away from me? Lady Gaga performer, songwriter, actress. She said I sometimes feel like a loser kid in high school and I just have to pick myself up and tell myself that I'm a superstar every morning so that I can get through this day and be for my fans what they need for me to be. And finally, emma Watson again great actress and a very, very powerful activist. She said Now, when I receive recognition for my acting, I feel incredibly uncomfortable. I tend to turn in on myself. I feel like an imposter.
Speaker 1:Now I've deliberately shared these high-profile examples, as it would seem impossible that people who've celebrated so much success and notoriety could be living with so much self-doubt. In my many roles in corporate environments, I've discovered that the same phenomenon is rife at all levels, regardless of titles, salaries, credentials and all the perks. And as I've collaborated with, supported and mentored and coached, I've formed the opinion that not having imposter syndrome is actually the exception, not the norm. Knowing now that these incredibly successful people whose lofty levels of success, recognition and celebrity, while still having that nagging voice of self-doubt on their shoulders, has certainly given me some comfort that at least I'm in good company when I'm constantly questioning whether I deserve to be where I am today, the moment that I learned that I wasn't alone with my own imposter syndrome was when I took on a chief of staff style role supporting a senior leader that I'd actually known for quite a few years prior.
Speaker 1:This leader outwardly demonstrated all the traits of a raging extrovert who'd be the focal point in any room that he entered. He was loud, opinionated, occasionally aggressive and almost always had the last word. Then, when I began working for him and supporting him in a more intimate and interactive way, I spied some behaviors that I just couldn't rationalize. He would be tense and fidgety before he engaged with his teams and other leaders, and when preparing for formal presentations he could be indecisive and constantly questioning and rethinking his messaging and the data. Over the period of a couple of years that I worked for him, I got to know that the person he presented externally was a facade that he developed through his life to compensate for and mask the real person within with all his doubts and all his insecurities. Don't get me wrong he was a great leader and I loved working for him. He was smart, he was kind and generous and he led a great team, but he wasn't the person he was portraying to be. With this new awareness, I became curious and observant of other leaders and individuals across the organization, and the closer I looked, the more often I observed those similar patterns, where the most rambunctious people were often the ones who showed the telltale signs of introversion and insecurity. When I completed my master practitioner in coaching and neuro-linguistic programming, I learned sensory acuity and I became aware of Paul Ekman's studies of micro gestures, those minute facial gestures that we all have and can't hide, and this only heightened my ability to observe the signals of uncertainty.
Speaker 1:My observation today is that imposter syndrome is rife across society and in recent years, thankfully, we've actually become more willing to talk about it. In fact, in the short time since I launched this podcast, imposter syndrome is the one topic that I've been repeatedly requested to cover, and it's come up in pretty much every podcast conversation I've had so far and all of those that I've planned. So here we are. What is this imposter syndrome really, and why do so many of us have to deal with it in our lives? Do so many of us have to deal with in our lives?
Speaker 1:Well, imposter syndrome is a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their skills and talents or accomplishments and has a persistent fear of being exposed as a fraud. It's common among high-achieving individuals and can lead to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. Here's the thing, though it looks like every one of us deals with it. Imposter syndrome is thought to be related to anxiety and perfectionism. People who are experiencing imposter syndrome often have very high expectations for themselves and feel like they need to be perfect in order to succeed. When they fall short of these expectations, they may feel like they're not good enough or that they are a fraud.
Speaker 1:Imposter syndrome can also be related to social comparison. People who experience imposter syndrome may compare themselves to others and feel like they just don't measure up. They may believe that other people are more talented or capable than they are, even if there's no evidence to support this belief. But here's the thing as I just explained, it's common for us to present ourselves publicly as very different people than we really are, and therefore we're comparing ourselves to the fabricated versions of those we're comparing ourselves to. So of course, we never measure up. So let me be vulnerable and speak very personally on this for a moment.
Speaker 1:You might recall from my introduction, I never finished high school, instead dropping out to do an apprenticeship in a leather factory when I was 15. And given that I've never gone back to complete my schooling and that I'm literally surrounded by people with doctorates and MBAs and other degrees. It's a huge source of imposter syndrome that has hounded me for my entire career, almost despite myself. I've actually been remarkably successful, but that doesn't mean that I haven't been telling myself for the last 40 years or more that sooner or later I'm going to be exposed as a fraud. To have my career crumble before my eyes as a fraud. To have my career crumble before my eyes. How ridiculous to be less than a decade away from my retirement and still be afraid of being found out. So my personal experience that little voice on my shoulder that tells me I'm not good enough and I'm about to be found out can strike at any time and in many contexts.
Speaker 1:The worst periods of feeling like an imposter for me have been when I've been changing roles or teams. Throughout my career I've had so many experiences of transitioning into a role where I had limited or no prior experience, like when I became a chief of staff, then a business manager, and then when I transitioned to leading regional teams in systems engineering and infrastructure operations. My most recent transition to leading physical security has caused me to have self-doubt almost on a daily basis. Three years into this role and there are still regular occurrences of extreme self-doubt Outside of my career. I can recall telling myself that I would fail as a parent Everything from I'm clumsy and sooner or later I'm going to drop the baby to how the hell am I going to be able to help my kids with their homework, or how am I going to guide them through their social relationship challenges or the complexities of gender and sexuality.
Speaker 1:When I was invited to join the committee of a local community musical theatre group, surrounded by incredibly talented musicians, performers and those with skills and experience in the technical and production aspects of staging, I found myself holding back my ideas and opinions, as my internal dialogue was all about being exposed as a complete fraud. And my worst periods of imposter syndrome often come to me when I'm feeling overwhelmed with the number of things on my to-do list. Like many others I've chatted with on this topic, I have a terrible tendency to delay and procrastinate getting things done when I'm in this state, which is inexplicable, of course, because it only makes matters worse. As more tasks don't get done, the situation just gets worse and the feeling of failing increases. I'm going to be talking more about procrastination and priority management in a future episode, but it's been an ever-present challenge for me when it comes to my own self-confidence.
Speaker 1:So hopefully you've been able to relate to some of the examples I've shared with you so far and you've got a pretty good sense of what imposter syndrome is and how. Now you know that you're definitely not alone, and if you currently have previously experienced it, you know that it's a common thing. So knowing it's a real thing and what causes it and how it feels is good, but how can you get rid of it? Well, in truth, I'm not convinced you can get rid of it. I don't think you can stop having these feelings of being an imposter. I think it's just in the DNA of most people to doubt ourselves from time to time. I think the more reasonable question that we need to ask ourselves is how can I recognize that imposter syndrome is frankly not a big deal, and how can I minimize the impact that imposter syndrome is going to have on my life and my career? And so here are some basic things that I can recommend that you do to help you combat your thoughts of imposter syndrome. Firstly, recognize, as we've said, that you're not alone.
Speaker 1:It seems that most people experience imposter syndrome at some point in their lives and for some of us, it's there for most of our lives. I shared some very famous examples of highly successful personalities who've shared openly their feelings of inadequacy, and I've also shared some examples where I experienced the same. In all the cases I shared including my own the fears of being exposed or rejected as a fraud I've actually never eventuated, because they're just thoughts and in reality, they have no substance. Imagine if Tom Hanks or Emma Watson had not pushed through these negative thoughts and instead had believed the lie they were telling themselves about not having the talent to succeed. Frankly, if I'd have taken my own self-doubt seriously, I'd probably still be working in that factory and I certainly wouldn't have this podcast.
Speaker 1:For some of us, evidence is the most effective way to defend ourselves from that voice on our shoulder. And to build this evidence, you can take some time out to identify your strengths and your accomplishments. Grab a piece of paper and make a list of your personal professional accomplishments, regardless of how big or small they are. Keep your list handy, update it when you have new achievements or when you recall older ones, and use this list to remind yourself when you start to have doubts. If you feel like you're struggling to come up with accomplishments, don't be afraid to ask the people that you trust what they value about you or what they believe that you've accomplished in the past past. If you're still feeling like an imposter, it might be good to talk to someone that you trust about it. Sharing your thoughts with somebody else, particularly someone who may have had similar thoughts at some point themselves, can help you gain perspective, challenge your internal dialogue and feel less alone. The conversation might be just what they need as well. Perhaps you can think of this as establishing an imposter syndrome buddy that you can work with on an ongoing basis.
Speaker 1:The most effective strategy that I've found works for me is to develop the habit of challenging my negative thoughts when they occur. When I start to doubt myself, I've learned to ask myself is there any evidence to support the negative stories that I'm telling myself? Has there been a pattern of failure for me to accomplish my goals? Have the negative outcomes that I'm worried about been a common thing for me? Do I have a reputation as a failure? Oh, sure, I've missed some goals over the years. I've had my failures, for sure, but my successes by far outweigh those, and there's no reason to believe that that won't continue to be the case in the future.
Speaker 1:I also highly recommend developing a growth mindset, as I talked about in episode two of this podcast. With a growth mindset, you can acknowledge that there may be a skill or a specific expertise that you don't have today, and this is simply an opportunity to learn practice and gain competence and confidence. In this context, the word yet is extremely powerful. When you or someone you know says they can't do something, you're encouraged to simply add the word yet to that statement, so automatically it translates that you can't do whatever it is yet. There was a time when you couldn't walk, you couldn't write, you couldn't ride a bike. You know, you get the point. I recommend you check out Carol Dweck's book or the TED Talk on this topic. There's some really great content there. It's one of my favorites and I will add the link to the TED Talk to the show notes for this podcast. Most importantly of all, I recommend that you learn to practice self-compassion. When you're feeling those feelings of doubt about your capabilities, treat yourself with kindness and understanding, just as you would treat a friend who was going through a difficult time Now to turn all of this on its head a bit.
Speaker 1:I was actually discussing this episode with a workmate the other day and talking about all the suggestions that I just shared with you to help you manage your feelings of imposter syndrome, but he had a very different perspective. His mental model threw me initially, but ultimately resonated very strongly. His mental model threw me initially, but ultimately resonated very strongly. Greg explained that for him, those feelings of impending failure are actually a strong motivator. Instead of carrying those feelings like a burden, they light a fire in him to supercharge his energy and focus to ensure that he is successful. This made me think about a quote from Amy Porterfield, a fabulous digital marketing entrepreneur, which is every successful entrepreneur has felt fear. It's what you do with that fear that sets you apart. Turn it into your greatest ally and watch as it propels you forward to your dreams. I love that quote, and this conversation with Greg was a bit of an awakening for me, as I realized that I think I've been unconsciously been adopting this strategy at times.
Speaker 1:My own life, my motivation, goes back to the days when our father, who was a challenging individual, declared to my siblings and I that we would never amount to anything. My father's words, as destructive as they would have seemed to have been, have, ironically, been a source of strength and determination. I've never been willing to allow his words to be legitimized by performing down to his expectations. What an incredible revelation this has been for me. Now I'm very curious how many successful people have been that way in defiance of their detractors. What a powerful energy that is. So there you have it a variety of ways to manage imposter syndrome or to even turn it into your secret weapon.
Speaker 1:I'd love to hear about your strategies for dealing with imposter syndrome and any other resources that you found that might be valuable for our other listeners. There are so many books that address the topic of Imposter Syndrome. A search on Amazon or the bookstore of your choice will produce pages of self-help books dedicated to the topic. Here's a few that I recommend the Secret Thoughts of Success for Women by Valerie Young, the Imposter Syndrome Remedy by Evie Estacio, the Confidence Code by Katie Kay and Claire Shipman, the Gifts of Imperfection by my favorite author, brené Brown, the Middle Finger Project by Ash Ambridge and the Feeling Good Handbook by David D Burns.
Speaker 1:Some great resources there, and again I'll include those in the show notes for today's podcast. Great resources there, and again I'll include those in the show notes for today's podcast. So there you have it, imposter syndrome. I hope you've gotten something from this podcast. I hope you come away from this with a new and fresh perspective and some resources that are going to help you really manage this in your life. Thanks for joining in on JD's Journal. We'll catch you in a couple of weeks with my next guest episode. Looking forward to having you there then. Have a great week.
